Archive for November, 2011

online dating

I don't even know where to start. On line dating is not something I wish on anyone and yet if you haven't experienced it you're really missing out. You know it's how single (and married but 'available' people) meet these days! We all know on line dating success stories so I'm still trying, maybe I'm just too picky?! I did have one “relationship” from online dating. At the time, I thought he had been “the one”. Until I realized he was not honest about his intensions, sexual past or current codependent relationship with his ex wife even counseling her about her crazy boyfriend. I should have known that he did not want a serious relationship with me from the beginning when he completely became enthralled and very serious about me mentioning kids and marriage right off the bat. By profession he was a doctor but really “acting” and “drama” was more of his style. Did I mention he had a chronic sinus infection that I made him get antibiotics for. Anyway, we were really cute, everyone said he seemed very into me. But on our ten month anniversary (a week after visiting his Mom) he asked to have “the talk” and said “I love you” but he didn't want kids and I would be better off with someone else. A few days later, I received a message on Face Book from his ex wife's boyfriend (who I'm not friends with on FB) saying how sorry he was to hear about blank and I breaking up. Needless to say my now ex-boyfriend went from “I love you” to never talking to me again and I learned we were officially broken up on Face book by his ex wife's boyfriend. I swear I did not make this up! After recovering from the shock, the hardest part for me was not being able to say good bye to his cat, two kids I had fallen in love with and realizing that I had been duped by an emotionally handicapped middle age man that just wanted to have fun. I deserved more. It was painful but in retrospect I had dodged a major bullet. After that learning experience, I decided to used online dating to go and dates and nothing more, not to find prince charming. What I've discovered is that online dating has become a source of entertainment, something to pass the time. Most times I feel there is no real incentive to have a committed relationship because there are so many possibilities and always newer choices on line for me and everyone else on line searching. No one really knows one another outside of being “online” it's very non committal. Then there are men who have online profiles with no photographs. Speaking of photographs, my number one pet peeve is photographs of guys with bare chests and or flexing their muscles in the mirror. Besides looking totally gay, this is a major red flag. Another aspect I find quite amusing is profile names. Some of my favorites are Chaotic Cutie, Teddy Steady, Muffy the Cat, Deep Thoughts Guy, Mr. Kiss Kiss, Very Very Funny Guy and Chef Mensch. I should mention that these particular profile names are men over 50 who messaged me. I have received the impersonal email that appears to have been sent out to more than one woman, everyone gets these right like a group email? And then there is the message that reads more like a short novel providing way too much information like what went wrong with their first marriage, mother issues and how he and his therapist are sorting through his childhood. And I have received the email that says “we seem perfect for each other, when can you meet for a cocktail?” I start to think that this potential online date has not read my profile. I do not drink, would like to have kids and I don't live in Boise, Idaho. I love the message one guy wrote me from New York “guess who's passing thru San Francisco next week.”Even better is the one from the 55 year old, married couple from Boston seeking a threesome. Once I received a message from a guy who volunteered to give me his sperm but wrote, “because of my genetic defect we will have to go thru the in vitro fertilization process.” What?! This was his first and only email to me, I did not reply. Another issue I have is the guy who only wants to IM or text. Once I had texting boyfriend for a few weeks, we had our first 'fight' over a text before we ever met and eventually “broke up” over a text. All said and done, I have met some nice guys on line so far, one guy even took me to a Michelin Star Restaurant on our first date! The presentation and food was fabulous at the restaurant, the guy, not so much.


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Occupy Oakland

I would not say that I participated in the “Occupy Movement” however I have watched and read about cities through out the world protesting based on “Occupy Wall Street” movement. After the unfortunate incident with police and protesters in Oakland at the end of October I became more interested. It wasn’t that I didn’t agree with people taking issues with banks, big corporations and Wall Street before, but felt OK watching or reading about it on the news. After the tear gas in Oakland, it became an Oakland Pride thing for me. I guess whatever it takes, huh? I thought Occupy Oakland General Strike on November 2 had a great vibe, energy and organization. I was really impressed. I’m not talking about the night time trouble makers, graffiti, arrests, ect.. During the day I saw energy, lots of smiling faces, families that had taken their children out of school for the day (what an awesome teaching lesson) old people, young people, professionals, the unemployed and everyone in between coming together as a community. I liked seeing doctors, nurses, teachers, designers, computer programers, city planners, artists, students, to name a few unifying as one to show support for Oakland and the greater cause of social change. I saw so many signs about EDUCATION, HEALTH CARE, OCCUPY Oakland not the MIDDLE EAST, POETS for the People, MUSICIAN for Change, CAL BERKELEY STUDENTS for the Future, my favorite CHILDREN’S Support will OCCUPY the FUTURE ,and of course STAND with the 99%. I’m so glad I went!